Merry Christmas!

My son made this with card creation software.

It’s been a while…

Since my last post, I did a Fringe show, got engaged, did RenFest, and my son entered the 4th grade. I have also rekindled an advice blog that no one will read at http://mamajenadvice.wordpress.com.

Today, on my triumphant return to this blog, I give you a recipe. That’s right- no content for you. Just this. I just made it and am very happy with it. And I share my creation with the world…

Poor Man’s Shepard Pie

You will need

• one can of vegetable beef soup
• instant mashed potato flakes
• shredded cheese

1. Heat can of soup until boiling
2. strain water/broth from the rest of the soup into a bowl
3. add instant mashed potato flakes until mashed potato-like
4. add the rest of the soup on top of the mashed potatoes
5. Sprinkle with shredded cheese

I made it in 5-10 minutes tops. And it is delicious.  In a very “this economy is busting my balls- what can I make from what I have in my cupboard” kind of way.

KOOZA by Cirque du Soleil

A week or so ago, I got an email for free tickets to see KOOZA. Because I’m a blogger in the Twin Cities. I double checked the links with my l33t haxor skillz, found it wasn’t a hoax, and proclaimed loudly to no one in particular “YOINK!”

I got 2 tickets. I debated bringing my son, but he’s seen Circus Juventis and wasn’t impressed (I think his exact words were “It’s not my thing.”) I didn’t want to force him to something he didn’t want to be at just because I thought it would be good for him. So I brought my childhood friend Aliera. And I’m glad I didn’t bring him. I think he’s a little older and would have appreciated it more now, but he’s still an incredibly sensitive boy, and there were some parts that, although other children may have brushed off, he would have likely started crying out of fear. The skeletons dancing in the dark would maybe have been fine. The guys tripping on air and falling a bit? Not so much.

I’m going to show a future girlfriend of his this post. To be fair, I did hear the frightened voice of a child a few rows behind me. Still, future girlfriend, please don’t point and laugh. If you do, gently, and only for a moment. If you break his heart, I swear I will tear you in two. but not in front of my son. He’s a little sensitive.

The show itself was absolutely amazing. Seriously. The costumes were amazing. The clowning was amazing. The magic was amazing. The tech was amazing. The feats were amazing. The whole experience was simply amazing.

And OMG the eye candy. I love my boyfriend. A LOT. He is amazing. Cirque du Soleil amazing. But DAMN there were some pretty people on that stage. Girls and guys. SO damn pretty!

There were two disappointments for me. One, there was no fire. As a fire manipulator, I was looking forward to some fire. I heard there was fire in shows past. Not KOOZA. No fire. Sad little pyro. The second one was the juggler. Now don’t get me wrong- he was a really good juggler. Didn’t drop a ball. 9 clubs in the air. But damn it, I was raised at a renaissance festival. I have been spoiled by world tournament winning jugglers. If there isn’t 11 clubs in the air, it’s just not as exciting to me as it should be. Especially if nothing is on fire.

Other than that? Simply amazing. The timing had me moving my eyes from one thing to the next so that I would turn back and something else was magically in it’s place. The feats were daring enough to have me on the edge of my seat, with my hand to my mouth. The jokes were playful, the audience interaction top notch (they used some of the same tricks I’ve used at Fest). Purely amazing.

You win, Cirque du Soleil. I’m blogging about how awesome you are. Not because of the tix, but because you really were amazing.

See the KOOZA trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O0-HJhjw8Q
Get super reduced rate tickets here: http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/saintpaulpromo

Minnesota Fringe 2009 – Drinking Stories

Minnesota Fringe 2009 – Drinking Stories

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Social High

For those who may be anxious to get a snippet of what’s to come in my fringe show, what follows is a piece that is not in my show. It’s unfortunately been cut. It wasn’t fitting into things well. But I am in love with this unfinished piece. I may come back to it later. It’s bumpy and clunky, but I give it to you, my interwebs. because it was meant for you.

It’s not my fault.

I started when I was too young to know any better. I was somewhere around 11. We had an apple 11e with a 300 baud modem, and my father would connect to things called Bulliten Board Systems- or BBSs. I played around a bit- connecting to different boards and creating accounts. I started leaving messages, and some people replied to me. And not the patronizing tones normally reserved for youth, but as if we were equals.

Because they didn’t know I was only 11. It’s not my fault- I didn’t hide my age. But no one ever asked me for it, and I wasn’t about to share. People were communicating with me as if my opinions mattered. I was hooked. It was then I became an internet junkie, and a social networking whore.

We didn’t really have “internet stalkers” back then because there wasn’t an internet, but I can tell you, my first date was with a guy I met on line. I had the foresight to meet him in public, with friends. I may have been only 12, but I wasn’t stupid. I was the co-sysop of a board, for crying out loud. I should have a very exiting story for the world’s first internet date, but honestly, it was pretty dull. Rather, he was pretty dull. My friends and I ditched him, and I am fine with not having seen or heard from him since.

From the very beginning, internet dating has always been a poor idea.

It’s not my fault, and yet, here we are over 15 years later, and I am still an internet junkie and social networking whore. I have over 7 blogs and profiles on more social networking sites than I can remember- bebo, cafemom, linked in, six degrees, classmates.com, flickr, flixster, and Friendster.

I am on several online dating sites including match.com, eharmony, geektogeek, and OKCupid, though I’m only there for the online quizzes. Really.

And if it’s blogs you want, I have blogs. Blogger, blogspot, and wordpress. I have a livejournal, a deadjournal, and I’m just waiting for someone to come up with zombie journal.

And of course, I have the trinity of Social networking- My Space, Facebook, and the Holy Twitter.

Now, I do not post to all of these blogs daily, or even weekly. But it looks like it on some of them. I have a feed from my wordpress that dumps into my Facebook. I have a feed from twitter that updates my facebook and my widget on my homepage. I have a feed from Facebook events to my google calendars, and then one from my google calendars out to several different widgets, including one that resides on my Facebook info page.

My feeds have come full circle. Hakuna matatah.

I get a rush when all of these connections work. I get excited when my blackberry give the little “ding ding” that someone has done something to or at me on Facebook. I’m disappointed when I update my twitter and there are no new tweets. I rush to respond when someone makes a blog post that I have something to add to, comment on, or disagree with. I rush to get my rush. I get high when someone says ‘hi.’

Most druggies need the connection to get the drugs to get high. I just need to get connected.

Beyond this non-sample, my show has poetry, singing, dancing, improv, magic, jokes, and many more stories. For more information or tickets, visit the show on the fringe site at http://www.fringefestival.org/2009/show/?id=1070.

Sure, I’ll pitch something to you…

In a culture where so much emphasis is placed on individual achievement, it’s easy to feel alone. It can be difficult to feel connected when most of our social time is spent in emails and on telephones. We hardly ever see each other face to face unless it’s a quick bite to eat before moving on to the next immediate thing we need to accomplish for ourselves.

In the show “Drinking Stories,” comedienne Jen Zalar combines stories, jokes, poetry, sketch, improv, magic, song, and dance in a one woman variety show to explore and create a sense of community. From angsty poetry about love, to embarrassing tales of college woe and bravado, to amazing physical feats accomplished, this event of humor and heart will leave you feeling connected.

99 bottles of beer on the wall

It’s a lot of work for a little beer…

Get thee behind me, MN Fringe!

I have been writing.

I have missed out on fun times with friends. My apartment is a mess. I have even passed on performance opportunities. To write.

I sold my soul for a Fringe production.

Drink it in

I’ve been working on Fringe stuff, and I’ve learned something very important- writing does not come easily to me. I mean, I am am pretty good with written communications. I can bang out a formal email or a whimsical blog very quickly and well, but *writing*… that’s got pressure and judgment and all other forms of ickyness around it.

So for my show, I’m going to read a series of formal emails.

Actually, I am really excited for my show.  I like what it is and what it sets out to accomplish. I’m still putting stuff together for it, but I have a solid beginning, a solid ending, and some solid stuff in the middle. I just need to give it a bit more body. I think a dance is in order. Belly dance. Ha ha, get it? Body? Belly?

The show is much better. Promise.

Flier for my Fringe show in less than 3 months!

Breaking up is hard to do..

As some of you may have heard, Bill dumped me Monday night.

First, I have to say, I have some of the most awesome, most caring friends on the face of the planet. Seriously. You guys are wonderful, and I am loathe to abuse your kindness and compassion. It was ridiculous how many people left comments, sent emails, texted me, IM’d me, called…

Many of you know, I have a love/hate relationship with manipulation. I dislike it’s use in daily life, but I find it to be a large part of performance… taking the audience and drawing an emotional response from them- very manipulation-esque, if you disagree with manipulation as a performance skill. I feel that when entering a theater, the audience is giving the performer permission to play with their emotions, trusting that they will manipulate them in a way that is enjoyable. And that is why it is important to appreciate your audience and not take them for granted. They are trusting you- you have to value that.

***Stand-up, is somewhat different, since a lot of people will go to stand up shows to heckle, or find themselves at a bar where an open mic happens to be taking place. They didn’t go there to be manipulated, so it’s a bit different. Environmental theater (AKA fest) is a similar scenario, though by walking through the gate, they are allowing a certain amount of manipulation. I mean, it’s not really a Renaissance village. Remove that 4th wall, and people don’t know what to do.***

In the past, I have been known to be a bit on the manipulative side. It’s something I didn’t like about myself, so I changed it. There are still parts of my past that come back to haunt me, but I don’t add to it, and I will slap a bitch down for trying to manipulate me as opposed to simply being straight forward and allowing me unbiased or fully informed decisions. In this, Rorschach and I almost entirely agree (yes, I finished Watchmen novel. Now to see the movie).

But I have the ability if it’s called for. This is what keeps me able to function in society. It also gives me the ability to say “Gottcha!” on April 1st.

For the past couple weeks, I have been subtlety dropping hints that I am unhappy with Bill. Bill has done similar. We let things build. And on Monday, we staged the most convincing break up ever. It had to be convincing- MNCS is where we hang out, where we cuddle on the couch, where we PDA like two teens at a mall (and you think we’re bat at Grumpy’s…). MNCS has been a pretty important part of us getting to know each other and becoming a couple. They would be the hardest sell.

Bill and I did not kiss or hold hands or cuddle on the couch. We made comments behind each other’s backs. We gave each other glares and mouthed words that were obviously upsetting. We got to the Mill, and picked seperate corners of the bar. We had a conversation infront of the window. Then we had another conversation. Bill left without me. And then I had to sell it. I drank water. I zoned. I did not contribute to conversation around me. I faux cried. I rolled eyes. I reluctantly stated that Bill needed space and called me needy. And bitched about him. And then it all got to be too much for me and I left.

It was a brilliant performance.

I met up with Bill after I left, and admitted to feeling guilty. I know that society allows for a chunk of manipulation to be dished out in the name of April 1st, but that’s not generally my thing. It’s still false. Rorschach agrees. I had a hard time as I was fake crying not turning to people and saying “NO! I’m fine! No sympathy for me! It’s all good!”

The next day, posts and comments on all social networking sites. This is where I thought I’d fail “I don’t want to talk about it” got used a lot, mostly cause I didn’t want to lie any further than I had to for the prank. But when do I ever NOT want to talk about it? It seemed flimsy. but It worked.I stayed in rather than risk further necessity to lie.

And so here it is! The day has arrived! I can say April Fools! and everything is all better. Hooray! Bill and I are together, we are still madly in love, and my super apologies to those who the news of our break up distressed. And especially those at the Mill. I have a bit of guilt. But I gotta say…

Gottcha! April Fools!