As some of you may have heard, Bill dumped me Monday night.

First, I have to say, I have some of the most awesome, most caring friends on the face of the planet. Seriously. You guys are wonderful, and I am loathe to abuse your kindness and compassion. It was ridiculous how many people left comments, sent emails, texted me, IM’d me, called…

Many of you know, I have a love/hate relationship with manipulation. I dislike it’s use in daily life, but I find it to be a large part of performance… taking the audience and drawing an emotional response from them- very manipulation-esque, if you disagree with manipulation as a performance skill. I feel that when entering a theater, the audience is giving the performer permission to play with their emotions, trusting that they will manipulate them in a way that is enjoyable. And that is why it is important to appreciate your audience and not take them for granted. They are trusting you- you have to value that.

***Stand-up, is somewhat different, since a lot of people will go to stand up shows to heckle, or find themselves at a bar where an open mic happens to be taking place. They didn’t go there to be manipulated, so it’s a bit different. Environmental theater (AKA fest) is a similar scenario, though by walking through the gate, they are allowing a certain amount of manipulation. I mean, it’s not really a Renaissance village. Remove that 4th wall, and people don’t know what to do.***

In the past, I have been known to be a bit on the manipulative side. It’s something I didn’t like about myself, so I changed it. There are still parts of my past that come back to haunt me, but I don’t add to it, and I will slap a bitch down for trying to manipulate me as opposed to simply being straight forward and allowing me unbiased or fully informed decisions. In this, Rorschach and I almost entirely agree (yes, I finished Watchmen novel. Now to see the movie).

But I have the ability if it’s called for. This is what keeps me able to function in society. It also gives me the ability to say “Gottcha!” on April 1st.

For the past couple weeks, I have been subtlety dropping hints that I am unhappy with Bill. Bill has done similar. We let things build. And on Monday, we staged the most convincing break up ever. It had to be convincing- MNCS is where we hang out, where we cuddle on the couch, where we PDA like two teens at a mall (and you think we’re bat at Grumpy’s…). MNCS has been a pretty important part of us getting to know each other and becoming a couple. They would be the hardest sell.

Bill and I did not kiss or hold hands or cuddle on the couch. We made comments behind each other’s backs. We gave each other glares and mouthed words that were obviously upsetting. We got to the Mill, and picked seperate corners of the bar. We had a conversation infront of the window. Then we had another conversation. Bill left without me. And then I had to sell it. I drank water. I zoned. I did not contribute to conversation around me. I faux cried. I rolled eyes. I reluctantly stated that Bill needed space and called me needy. And bitched about him. And then it all got to be too much for me and I left.

It was a brilliant performance.

I met up with Bill after I left, and admitted to feeling guilty. I know that society allows for a chunk of manipulation to be dished out in the name of April 1st, but that’s not generally my thing. It’s still false. Rorschach agrees. I had a hard time as I was fake crying not turning to people and saying “NO! I’m fine! No sympathy for me! It’s all good!”

The next day, posts and comments on all social networking sites. This is where I thought I’d fail “I don’t want to talk about it” got used a lot, mostly cause I didn’t want to lie any further than I had to for the prank. But when do I ever NOT want to talk about it? It seemed flimsy. but It worked.I stayed in rather than risk further necessity to lie.

And so here it is! The day has arrived! I can say April Fools! and everything is all better. Hooray! Bill and I are together, we are still madly in love, and my super apologies to those who the news of our break up distressed. And especially those at the Mill. I have a bit of guilt. But I gotta say…

Gottcha! April Fools!