Elementry, My Dear Watson

My son is exceptionally smart. Luckily, the school he goes to has allowances for this… Not only does he go to smart kid classes, but he does extra testing in the media center for extra points towards some rewards of some kind. He gets bored with tests easily. Usually.

Today, he was telling me about a test he took that was frustrating because the question was poorly worded. It was as follows:

4) John has 10 dinner bowls. How many dogs does he have?

• 4
• 7
• 10
• 13

Well, the number of bowls does not necessarily denote the number of dogs. They could share bowls. they could have special needs or any number of other factors. But the tester obviously was looking for the number 10, so he selected it and got it right. Next question:

5)

•  
• 9
• 100
• 43

Um, okay, so the question is broken. and ” ” was not the right answer. Move on:

6) Tony has 10 yo-yo’s. How many friends does he have?

• 4
• 9
• 18
• 7

My child was also frustrated at the logic of this one. But he guessed 9… 1 for Tony left 9 for 9 other friends. And he got it wrong. Unfortunately, it doesn’t give the “right” answer. I would love to know what it is. And now for the one that decidedly told my Brilliance that the test was broken:

8) 10 + ____ = 11

• 4
• 6
• 13
• 9

Yup. Broken. But that’s not what pissed him off. The final question is the “challenge” question, worth extra points, and supposedly the hardest. The question is as follows:

10) 10 – _____ = 2

• 4
• 7
• 8
• 12

And why was he upset about this one? Because he got it right. The test was not broken here, he got it right, and IT’S THE EASIEST QUESTION ON THE TEST!!!

I think my child is starting to lose faith in schools. Luckily, we have already had the talk about schools being more of an exercise in societal situations and following authority and getting the same information as everyone else, and not necessarily about challenging yourself. That part is up to you.

Then my son explained to me about how division and subtraction were so similar… that subtraction was seperating individuals from one group, and that division was about seperating one group into groups. then he and I talked about division and fractions, and by golly he got it. he understood reducing a fraction, and was able to tell me that 5 divided by 40 was 5/40 or 1/8th.

He did a few more (without paper, BTW. We were in the car at the time), and then he proclaimed “I love fractions!”

I want to keep that love of learning alive for him. And he does go to a really super good school… but I worry that the boredom will eventually hold him back. I fear that my kid isn’t dumb enough for school.

Ah well. No child left behind.Technorati Tags: school, education, fractions, boredom, challenge, test, no child left behind, math, error

Walking the Streets

I am really enjoying living in uptown.

Take tonight. I got home from work, walked to a friend’s place (4 blocks) and took care of some bid-nass. Then I walked over to the mill(3 blocks) to hang with some peeps and ran into more peeps. It was like a giant Easter marshmellow fest. After, I walked to the grocery store(3 blocks) to buy fixin’s for my infamous Tirima-psuedo. A dessert that is probably the second cousin to tirimasu, and in high demand (I have been told I cannot leave IB unless I finish my documentation and bring tirimasu). Then I walked home(1 block). 11 blocks. In about a mile of walking, I accomplished what would have taken 30 times that of driving from my old place.

I also feel safe walking around. I love night walking, but didn’t do a lot of it in Nort’ Minneapolis. Something about the gunshots and sirens and super high crime rates. But here, I am pretty much guarenteed to be more violently abled than 75% of my surroundings. And I’m a pretty tiny and peaceful person. And people say hello. It’s a foreign concept to much of the Twin Cities. But I was greeted on my walk by many people and a dog (that almost peed on me).

It’s such a diverse area. It’s the place where hipsters and hippies and everything in between are all smooshed into this little 20 block radius and told to play nice.Emma Bull said in War for the Oaks that Uptown was the feet of Minneapolis… where Minneapolis dances. But I would add that Uptown doesn’t just know one dance. It knows many dances, and combines them all into something that is exotic and familiar and absolutely mesmorising to me.

As eluded to earlier, I purchased makings for my tirima-psuedo. As the cashire was checking out my goods (the purchases, not THOSE goods), he commented “you’ll have to invite me over for cheesecake when you’re done.” “Not cheesecake.” “Tirimasu?” “A variation, but yes.” “Is the shortbread soggy?” “Nope. that was the first thing to go.” “How?” “I don’t use shortbread.” “But you have something to replace it.” “Yes.” “Will you tell me?” …and then I told him the secret. The one I spent much time perfecting. He said he would let me know how it worked for him. Then he told me where I could get real Marscapone.

About 4 blocks away.

Uptown Girl/ she’s been living in her white bread world…

The past few weeks have been busy as hell. It’s been leaving me feeling unattractive. But I’ve been too busy to notice…

Moving: I moved. I had help from good friends. I had much help from my brother. I did a crapton on my own. Over the course of two weeks, all my stuff is out of St. Paul an into uptown Mpls. I’m still living mostly out of boxes. I have coffee… the rest can wait.

Job: After 4+ years at Internet Broadcasting, I will soon be leaving. I was offered and accepted a job at Allied Health Center, working with medical and health stuff through the UofM. Since they have scholarships that cover most of the expence, I am contemplating going back to school as well. But mostly, I am excited for the opportunity to grow in my career path. I get to play with more hardware! Hot damn!

But I am going to miss the hell out of IB. A lot.

RenFest: Has been an amazing season. Seriously. I have played hard this year and owned my thing, which is amazing considering I hardly prepared at all. Vil has been a blast, patrons have been wonderful, and my kid is bloody fucking brilliant…

Earlier, he dodged a puff of smoke and said “I just evaded 50% of that”. I said “are you sure? What if it was 51%? What if it was 49%? What if it was 43%? What if it was 57%? What if it was ..” and he said “what if.. You just be quiet?”

Hell yeah. My kid is sassy. I love it.

Birthday: I am celebrating my 1^st annual 29^th this year. I have some 29 year projects to accomplish. I will let you all know what they are as soon as I set them up.

I still have so much more to say that I am not finding words for. For now, I will leave you with a thousand of them wrapped up in a picture:

Tell me I’m pretty!!!

A Multi-Media Event

So. I have a 25″ TV. With one Coaxial input.

-I have an entertainment center DVD/CD/radio/aux box of doom with a composite of doom out (like RCA with 3 other vid related thingers- anyone know what this is), S vid out, DA out, RCA in. This is what I want my sound to run through, since it also has the 5 (used to be 6 but I lost one a move ago) speaker set up. Surround sound.
-I have a VCR with RCA out, RCA in, Coax out, Coax in
-I have an XBox with an advanced AV Pack adapter with RCA out, s-vid out, DA out.
-I have a wii with RCA out cable.
-I have an Atari 2600 with a fork. also an adapter for it to coax, but I really just like saying fork for an output connector type.
-Jared has one of those all in one Crayola color games with RCA out cable.

I also now have basic satellite. This has not been an issue in the past, since I don’t watch TV, but I feel as though I should really be taking advantage of the free satellite. I believe this runs through the cable line. so, more coaxial.

I have “high speed” internet through a phone line with the little bumper box of doom. I am only supposed to have this go to one device at a time. No peer to peer, etc (bandwidth is shared by the building). Internet ready devices are:

-Laptop
-Wii
-Xbox
-I am getting a server to play with.
-I am building a set up for my son. Probably not even worth thinking about right now… but something that would come up down the line.

I have been thinking of storing all vid/audio on a server to use as a great media storage unit. It seems the most useful way to play with server stuff and learn while actually accomplishing something to make my life easier.

I have very little money right now. The less I have to spend, the better. I recognize that I will need a wireless router… I don’t like being confined to my room for internet. That’s the whole point of the laptop. And other things will likely be needed for the media center of doom (like switches). But I don’t want to spend massive amounts I don’t have right now, either.

A couple people have offered TVs with more than than just the coax… One was RCA and s vid, and I think the other just RCA. There are possibly more out there. I would lose inches accepting either, though. Which is a deterrent.

What can I say? The more inches the better.

So. This is what I have. What are my options in putting things together to have to do as little cable shifting as possible but still be able to access all these devices when desired?

EDIT!!! So I may be picking up a 36″ With RCA and S-vid inputs and RCA outputs. Sorry if you have to alter calculations for this. But only a little.

Tags: RCA, DVD, CD, Radio, Sound, TV, Coaxial, VCR, XBox, Wii, Atari, Satellite, internet, Laptop, server, s-vid, S-video, switch, media, multimedia, multi-media, wireless, router, cable

Hunt or Harvest?

Before we got all sophisiticated and domesticated, the human race was a people of hunting and gathering. Searching for their desires… mostly food. They would use their abilities to find the tasiest and most nutritious. It’s a survival thing.

I am in the process of moving. Because of this, I have dropped pretty much every performance/comedy related thing in my life for the next couple weeks. Not the Renaissance Festival, because there is NO other place I can tell the jokes I do and get the kind of response I get…

Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they swim in SCHOOLS all day.

No other audience is going to find that funny. The Ren Faire audience goes to that venue expecting to find the entertainment they’re seeking. They know that in the land of surreal, anything can happen, and that this is the place to hunt for stupid, wacky humor and entertainment.

So, instead of doing auditions, tonight I searched for boxes with my brother. We went to Kinko’s, where I had been promised that a veritable harvest of boxes would await me. But the harvest had already been collected an hour previous. We went to another Kinko’s, where boxes were out of season. I was handed one box. I’m sorry, but my library is not going to fit into one box, no matter how many games of tetris I’ve mastered. I was told they had boxes for sale, but that didn’t really fit my budget. Besides, where’s the sport in that?

I decided to go grocery shopping. Just a couple things so I could feed any helpers I get over the next couple days. At the check out line, I asked the cashier if they had any boxes. The cashier got really excited about banana boxes. He swears by them. They are the sturdiest boxes ever.

Banana boxes have giant holes in the bottom. I don’t care how sturdy they are. If they can’t actually hold anything, they’re not going to do me any good. Just put cardboard in the bottom… What’s the point of a box that I have to finish building? If I want one of those, I’ll go to Ikea.

The security officer on duty (cause I shop at the classy places) then told me that at the end of the strip mall, there was a Family Dollar store (really classy), and behind it, a dumpster full of boxes just ripe for the taking.

Taking things from a dumpster is a misdemeanor. It violates privacy and other such things. But is it really stealing if the guy who is hired to protect the property tells you to take it?

My brother and I went to the dumpster. The boxes were perfect. It’s possible my brother made spy movie sneaking music when we were getting the boxes. He may have ducked down a lot and flattened himself against the car, shifting his focus to and fro. It’s possible we were breaking the law. He grabbed a couple boxes full of boxes, and we were off, the hunt victorious and the harvest plentiful.

Over the weekend, I will again be at the Renaissance Festival, to tell stupid jokes and entertain the masses. There is a field of audience out there just ripe for the picking. And they want to be picked.

Tags: hunting, gathering, MN+Renaissance+Festival, Ren+Faire, humor, comedy, boxes, dumpster+diving, brother, harvest, fish, moving, jokes, food, Kinko’s, security+officer

Modern Domestic

I used to say that I hate cooking. That it was not my thing, that I would never cook at all if it were possible. But now that I have half an idea of what I’m doing…

I, um, kinda like my kitchen.

I’m not saying that I’m willing to spend hours at a time in it, creating wonders to tease the senses. I will not attempt a souflette, I am not huge into how to turn an eggplant into a fountain dessert. But I like doing some cooking, and even like my food sometimes. I’d say more often than not.

I cleaned most of my kitchen tonight, and put dry goods into canisters to keep bugs out. I think this canister thing is the perfect example of my not so domestic domestic side.

First canister is minute rice. Next three are sugar, flour, and dry milk; the three ingredients you buy in bulk needed for making bread in a bread machine. The last canister is linguini noodles.

These are the basics of my cooking/baking. The bread machine nicely sums up three of them– food that I just put ingredients together and something else does all the hard work. I can still be creative, with spices ans such. The other two are basics that are quick and easy to dress up.

I’d like to have more canisters for more pastas, and maybe one for my pancake mix. I embrace my modern definition of domestic. Maybe I cheat a little hear and there, but I don’t need to start from scratch to feel accomplished. Yet. And I accept that about myself.

Next step: Roomba.

The two bottle above the stove ar Saffflower and peanut oil

Dear Readers,

How do you cheat in your domestic life? What short cuts do you use in cooking? What are the staples in your kitchen?

Tags: cooking, baking, basics, cheating, food, canisters

Sometimes I’m Too Smart For Me

It’s true. An example of this would be like if I put tin foil on the bottom of my oven so I could bake a pizza directly on the rack without having to scrub my oven afterwards. So, let’s say I did this. And lets say that I was going to put extra mozzarella on my pizza, cause I love cheese. And let’s say that I put the pizza in the oven before putting the cheese on it. And let’s say I realize it right afterward, so it’s already on the rack…

If I were in this situation, I would pull the rack out a bit so I could put cheese on the pizza. Cause If I can keep from having to figure out how to remove the pizza, the better. See? Thinking. Only I’m not always the most graceful, so I would probably, while sprinkling cheese on my pizza, accidentally get some on the door of the oven, melting and then burning there, negating the fact that I had laid tinfoil along the bottom to keep from having to clean up a huge mess.

I’m not saying that I DID do this… about 5 minutes ago. Just that it’s something I WOULD do.

Tags: pizza, smart, cleaning, oven, cheese

Marvel at This

In my house, we do not watch TV. We seldom watch movies. No- our big vice is video games.

I am NOT as big a video game player as Topher, and Topher isn’t nearly as big a game player as our son is. Our son could play video games until he starved himself. Topher will pause long enough to make a sandwhich. I will pause long enough to actually cook something. Even chicken if it’s pre-thawed.

Between the two houses, my son has his pick of consoles and games. At his father’s house, he has an NES, a PS2, and a GameCube. At my house, our child has access to an Atari 2600, an XBox, and a Wii. I don’t think any other child has ever been as spoild in video games as ours.

For Christmas, my son received a copy of Marvel: Ultimate Alliance for the wii. I have to admit, it made me nervous. I really enjoy a good superhero ,and I hate it when a game will try to make a storyline fit where it shouldn’t. So we recently cracked open the game.

I’m in love.

The characters all have their attitudes… nothing is forced; all of it just IS and it is wonderful. Spiderman is as corney as he should be, Wolverine as dark, and Deadpool is, well, um, weird.The storyline and animation are sell done, the controlls ar easy to use…

But as I was playing, there was a sense of familliarity over them… something about the jabbing attacks, the characters, the 3D yet still linear game play. The straightforward buy not storyline…. they all combined to make something that was “Newly Nostalgic” which is not only the best description I can come up with, but also the name of my next perfume line.

Tags: comic, video+games, game, Brilliance, Topher, wii, Christmas

Cheating the baker

The bread maker is the best invention in the world. It allows people to be something they’re not with minimal effort, reaping the benefits of skills they don’t posses. It is the ultimate honest lie; I really did make this bread, but I didn’t.

I found my bread maker. It was on top of the cabinets where I keep all my appliances, so the hunt didn’t take long. Last night, I put in water, flour, sugar, salt, dry milk, butter, and yeast in my bread maker, I pushed a button, and 3 hours later, I got a loaf of bread.

It was so incredibly easy, I did it again this morning. I even got creative and added minced onion (dry) and garlic powder to it. Now I have the best bread on the planet for making toast.

And my home smells like domestic.

I think in a bit I will attempt a peanut butter bread recipe I foung in Bread Electric, a book full of bread maker recipes. If that one is successful, I am going to attempt the same recipe with chocolate added to it. It would be like a peanut butter cup, only something I could put raspberry jam on. Mmmmmm…. candy bread.

Dear Readers,

What other wacky breads should I try? What wacky breads have YOU tried? What is the best bread out ther and why? ANd how else can I cheat at being domestic?

Tags: lazy, bread, bake, cook, food, domestic, cheat, appliance