I’ve been working on Fringe stuff, and I’ve learned something very important- writing does not come easily to me. I mean, I am am pretty good with written communications. I can bang out a formal email or a whimsical blog very quickly and well, but *writing*… that’s got pressure and judgment and all other forms of ickyness around it.
So for my show, I’m going to read a series of formal emails.
Actually, I am really excited for my show. I like what it is and what it sets out to accomplish. I’m still putting stuff together for it, but I have a solid beginning, a solid ending, and some solid stuff in the middle. I just need to give it a bit more body. I think a dance is in order. Belly dance. Ha ha, get it? Body? Belly?
When I was on welfare, it sometimes got hard for me to see myself beyond the situation I was in at that moment. I kind of adopted this song as a way to get through the rough times. I would play it loudly and sing and dance to it when things got rough. When I was given funny looks using my EBT card or pulling out WIC certificates. When people I knew would tell me they knew what I should do with myself, and thought they knew better based on the fact that I was on welfare and they were not.
My friend Brad and I discovered a shared love of this song shortly after… he was learning to play guitar, and this was one of the songs he learned. He would play it for me at parties, whenever I asked.
Tonight, I went to see Misplaced. A band made up of 5 of my friends, including Brad. They played Change, and I was reminded of where I’ve been, and where I am now. And thinking of where I am now, and where I will be 5 more years from now.
I dont feel the suns comin out today
Its staying in, its gonna find another way.
As I sit here in this misery, I dont
Think Ill ever see the sun from here.
And oh as I fade away,
Theyll all look at me and say, and theyll say,
Hey look at him! Ill never live that way.
But thats okay
Theyre just afraid to change.
When you feel your life aint worth living
Youve got to stand up and
Take a look around you then a look way up to the sky.
And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
Keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin its time to die.
And as we all play parts of tomorrow,
Some ways will work and other ways well play.
But I know we all cant stay here forever,
So I want to write my words on the face of today.
And then theyll paint it
And oh as I fade away,
Theyll all look at me and theyll say,
Hey look at him and where he is these days.
When life is hard, you have to change.
