Archive Page 2

28
Feb
09

Ad it all together and you get…

One of the many jobs I’ve had with a particular web development company included Ad Trafficker. During this time, I paid more attention to ads than the content on a web page. And I always found it particularly funny when the content and the ads contradicted itself.

I used to have a collection of these, but cleaned it out when I left. Sad. I remember my favorite back then was a news article on a Disney park ride that people were injured and/or killed on, and next to it was an ad for Winning a Disney Vacation.

I never did like roller coasters.

I’m going to restart my collection. Starting with this one. A video on police brutality…

21
Feb
09

Lampshade with a little fringe…

I put in for the MN Fringe Festival. Last Monday was the drawing. And I got lucky.

Bill and I showed up just before things were about to start, but we did manage to find seats together. I saw people I knew, Bill saw people he knew. Some were the same people, some were not. I was surprised at how many people I could name.

It was really cozy. Standing room only by the time numbers were called off of ping-pong balls..

And mine was called.

I had the 2 second “wait- that’s me!” when my number was called. A couple people actually gave a ‘w00t’ and I caught the eyes of people I knew.. giving me thumbs up and air bumps. It was a popular-like feeling. Not super popular (I’m not Fotis), but more than I expected. To humble me afterward, mnfringe twitter listed me as Jan Zolar.

After the slots were filled, there was a break before the waitlist drawing. I had told a friend I’d find out where she fell on the list, so I got coffee, Bill got beer, and we mingled. People congratulated each other or gave condolences as appropriate. Lots of people asked Bill if he got in, and my trophy boyfriend of the evening pointed in my direction. When stating that I got in for fringe, I got asked “with vil?” or “with ____ production?”… I honestly expected a worse response when stating that I was producing my own one woman show. I mean, a one woman show is so edgy and daring… that’s nowhere near cliche at the MN fringe…

Then I listened to the wait-list. It wasn’t as formal as the first part. People cheered out of a sense of completion. After about a third of the way through, pizza arrived, and a food break was called. The masses swarmed.  Pizza and more wait-listing. There was conversation at this point. People discussing shows. Loud cheers for people still there that FINALLY had their number drawn.

There was elbow rubbing. Literally with certain friends. Some catching up with people I haven’t seen in a while. People asked about shows. After talking with some people who don’t even have CONCEPTS for their shows, I’m feeling better with my concept, outline, and partially written script.

Speaking of… This weekend is for writing. And even if I do seem steps ahead of some Fringers, I got a ways to go if I’m gonna write a hit fringe play.

I will say this, though. I can already tell it’s going to take a lot more than this one woman to put on a one woman show. The support that people have offered, from editing to guest “directing” to promotional shots to plugging to “whatever the hell you need…”  it’s all absolutely mind-blowing. I am honored to have you people in my life. Fuck ping-pong balls… these people are why I’m lucky.

Well, okay. These people AND the ping-pong ball.

07
Feb
09

Elementry, My Dear Watson

My son is exceptionally smart. Luckily, the school he goes to has allowances for this… Not only does he go to smart kid classes, but he does extra testing in the media center for extra points towards some rewards of some kind. He gets bored with tests easily. Usually.

Today, he was telling me about a test he took that was frustrating because the question was poorly worded. It was as follows:

4) John has 10 dinner bowls. How many dogs does he have?

  • 4
  • 7
  • 10
  • 13

Well, the number of bowls does not necessarily denote the number of dogs. They could share bowls. they could have special needs or any number of other factors. But the tester obviously was looking for the number 10, so he selected it and got it right. Next question:

5)

  •  
  • 9
  • 100
  • 43

Um, okay, so the question is broken. and ” ” was not the right answer. Move on:

6) Tony has 10 yo-yo’s. How many friends does he have?

  • 4
  • 9
  • 18
  • 7

My child was also frustrated at the logic of this one. But he guessed 9… 1 for Tony left 9 for 9 other friends. And he got it wrong. Unfortunately, it doesn’t give the “right” answer. I would love to know what it is. And now for the one that decidedly told my Brilliance that the test was broken:

8) 10 + ____ = 11

  • 4
  • 6
  • 13
  • 9

Yup. Broken. But that’s not what pissed him off. The final question is the “challenge” question, worth extra points, and supposedly the hardest. The question is as follows:

10) 10 – _____ = 2

  • 4
  • 7
  • 8
  • 12

And why was he upset about this one? Because he got it right. The test was not broken here, he got it right, and IT’S THE EASIEST QUESTION ON THE TEST!!!

I think my child is starting to lose faith in schools. Luckily, we have already had the talk about schools being more of an exercise in societal situations and following authority and getting the same information as everyone else, and not necessarily about challenging yourself. That part is up to you.

Then my son explained to me about how division and subtraction were so similar… that subtraction was seperating individuals from one group, and that division was about seperating one group into groups. then he and I talked about division and fractions, and by golly he got it. he understood reducing a fraction, and was able to tell me that 5 divided by 40 was 5/40 or 1/8th.

He did a few more (without paper, BTW. We were in the car at the time), and then he proclaimed “I love fractions!”

I want to keep that love of learning alive for him. And he does go to a really super good school… but I worry that the boredom will eventually hold him back. I fear that my kid isn’t dumb enough for school.

Ah well. No child left behind.Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , ,

31
Jan
09

On the Fringe of Society

So, I have cast my application with other hopefuls for the MN Fringe Festival to be drawn from a bucket for the chance to produce the hit show of the festival.

Last year, I had the wonderful opportunity to perform for the top-selling show Shakespeare’s Land of the Dead, to incredibly huge houses with lots of buzz and amazing popularity. I jokingly told Amy and John last year that they spoiled Fringe for me. My first year in, and I’m part of a show that was not only a major talk and seller, but also had some of the coolest people involved, and hey- it was actually an awesome show besides. There is no way to replicate the amazing-ness of last year.

So I’m not going to try. At least, not for that kind of awesomeness. Instead, I’m trying for a different kind of awesomeness. One where, instead of a huge cast of amazing people, and a board and a theater company and super resources, it is a lone person pulling together her own thing with limited resources and the advice of her friends.

Though I gotta say, Walking Shadow was not about the numbers last year. That was just kind of a super bonus. What it was about for me, and what was talked about constantly at rehearsals and durring shows amongst cast, crew, and board, was the fun of playing in a fun show. I mean, when I got a facebook message from John asking if I was interested in being a Shakespearean zombie, I didn’t think “Oscar nomination which leads to my fame and fortune, changing my life forever for the better, granting me a solid acting career with my own trailer and peeled grapes, here I come.” Rather, I am fairly confident my mental process went as follows:

Shakespearean Zombie? Oh fuck yeah! That sounds like hella fun!

At this point, it’s a little early to be pinning things on this year’s Fringe. My application is one of 319 for over 150 spots, so it’s a 50-50 shot of getting in. Then, even if I do make the lottery, I have to also make the deferment. Because I don’t have other people to split the cost with up front. And the economy has not been as harsh for me as it has been for others, but it hasn’t been exactly gentle with me either.

But if I do make it in, I have my goals…

  1. Make cost. Seriously, you guys. I can’t afford not to.
  2. Present my best. I’ve been working on this show, and I think it’s something to be proud of. I already am, whether I make Fringe or not.
  3. Have fun. For myself and the audience. Because really, what else is the point?

Let’s face it, kids. You can’t walk 10 feet without stumbling over a one person act at the Fringe. But I threw my hat in the ring because it sounded like fun. And as far as I can tell, that’s what you really need for a hit show.

24
Jan
09

Testing a new journaling client

I have just upgraded my computer, and discovered all sorts of new FireFox plugins. One of them is for an application called ScribeFire. It’s a pretty slick deal. A little icon sits at the bottom of my FireFox browser (next to my weather plugin), and whenever I get the urge to blog, I just click it, and it pops up on my browser. Because surfing the web is my muse, and is guarenteed to lead to blogging about useless things I find on the web.

Like this plugin.

But the net doesn’t stop there… not only can I blog about this in this client, but I can select which blogs I want the post to go to. Not that it matters all that much, since most of my blogs are linked back to one blog that I simply feed out to my other blogs. Because all bloging platforms must include all of my useless drivel.

Like this blog post.

21
Jan
09

Memories

I love Vietnamese coffee. A lot. Both the blend, and the drink. I have introduced this pleasure to many people, and I think I’ve only once gotten a poor review.

The blend itself is a very rich, strong, but not over-powering coffee taste, smoother than espresso, but still as bold. I sometimes add a little to other coffee brewed, to give it that undertone of goodness. Because it is.

The drink involves pouring some sweetened condensed milk in the bottom of a mug. You then measure the coffee into a filter that sits on top of your mug Ted thought this looked like a top hat, and has dubbed this process “top hat coffee”). Pour hot water into the filter, and coffee comes out the bottom and lands in the mug. Mix it up, and it’s like coffee candy in drink form.

Ted had purchased a top hat filter for me after I introduced him. I haven’t been able to find it. A couple months ago, after I introduced him to this treat at khin do, Bill purchased a top hat filter, the sweetened condensed milk, and Trung Nguyen brand coffee (it has cherry in it, and is my new favorite) and surprised me with them. And made me coffee.

So now I can drink coffee and think on how awesome people in my life are in general, and how incredible my boyfriend is in specific.

I am not purposefully forgetful. I have been told that I come across as ungrateful or uncaring because I space on things. I have been told that if I focused more on things, I wouldn’t forget as much. Or that if I really cared, I wouldn’t space.

My grandpa had Alzheimer’s, and sometimes I fear that will be me.. Calling my grandchildren by my children’s names, or asking my wife who she is. I remember being Jared’s age and thinking my grandpa was dumb.

I tell people that I forget stories. That’s not entirely true. I am not good with specifics. I can conceptualize the hell out of something, get lost in another reality, but can’t remember dates or names at all. So when someone says “you remember the story about my friend Tony?”, unless the fact that his name is Tony plays an integral part of the story, no. I do however remember the story of your friend who drove a vehicle of some sort into a body of water and then told authorities that he had been sober, except that right at that moment, a bottle of booze floated out of the vehicle and to the surface.

I bought a pocket edition of “improving your memory for dummies” in the target dollar market. I got a lot of other stuff, too, including some calf heeled boots and over the knee socks. And hats. I used to love wearing hats. I need to wear more.

Sorry- I forgot where I was.

The book keeps referencing 50 year olds and telling me that it’s common to lose your short term memory as you get older. The obvious moral is that either I’m old or that there is something not normal about a 29 year old that can’t remember simple short term things.

But they offer tips on how to help with your memory. So I read about nemonics and imagery that I already use. I read about increasing brain function with logic games (I play sudoku daily) and increasing scores on logic tests (I got only one wrong on a friend’s test the other day). And then I read that diet is important. The two main contributors being sugar and caffine caffiene caffeine.

I sip my Vietnamese coffee.

I sip again.

But I *like* my sugar-laden caffine caffiene caffeine.

Damn. I wish I could remember how that’s spelled.

21
Jan
09

It’s been a while…

I got busy. Or I got lazy. Or I got both. Which is a wonderfully honest paradox.

What has happened since last I posted here? Some of it I have logged in my private journal, and may repost here. But here’s the summary:

I got a boyfriend

It’s true. I’ve broken my 3 year single streak, and I’m pretty okay with that. We’ve been together for 3 months now, and it’s been wonderful. Wonderful isn’t the best word, but it’s the word I’m going to use now for a lack of adjectives that can better express how amazingly awesome my boyfriend is.

He is also a comedian, and the only real fights we ever have are about comedy. It’s funny because it’s true.

My job is going well.

I’ve been at the U for almost 4 months, and I feel like I’ve been learning and growing so much in this position. I’m to the point where I feel almost capable, which is a nice place to hang out in for a bit. It’s also as close as I think the economy will let anyone get to job security these days, We just hired someone, so I’m no longer the newest. Or the only woman in the basement.

My child is amazing

He really is. As a parent, I never tire of watching him grow and become his own person. His quirky, sassy intellect is absolutely delightful. He teases, he plays, and he’s still responsible and caring. He is, as always, my brilliance.

More to follow. Probably some of those reposts I was talking about earlier. if I find the time. I may not- I’m kinda busy being lazy.

06
Nov
08

Last night.

Last night, I watched a the non-elected shush people booing the elected.
Last night, I watched a black man accept a presidency without bringing up his skin color.
Last night, all 700 of my facebook friends posted status updates to show their feelings. repeatedly. few were negative.

“Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.”

I don’t claim a political party because I believe it’s too easy to fall into an “us vs. them” mentality. To let differences in ideals divide instead of gain understanding. I am a centralist not because I refuse to make a decision or have an opinion, but because my opinion IS the middle of the road (bisexual on the other hand… yeah, that’s because I refuse to commit to a gender).

Last night, I heard people cheering in the streets.
Last night, I saw hope and empowerment in the eyes of those I care about.

“It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.”

When I tell my anti-Jesus friends that I am a Christian, they scoff. When I tell my conservative Christian friends that I haven’t been to church in years, they stare in disbelief. I have sat in a room full of Lutherans complain about being lumped in with the Catholics. I have heard a room full of gay supporters mock Christians for judging gays, or judge a large group of people for judging a large group of people.

I have cried over the hypocrisy, especially when I found it in myself. I have bemoaned the lack of caring about such things, only to have it fall on deaf ears. I used to rant and rave and try to jostle SOMETHING, but I’m just not skilled in those areas. I ran out of desire to try. I lost hope.

“And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world – our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.  To those who would tear this world down – we will defeat you.  To those who seek peace and security – we support you.  And to all those who have wondered if America’s beacon still burns as bright – tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.”

Last night, I heard a man saying things that spoke to me so incredibly deeply that I cried for frustration at myself for giving up and relief of finally feeling understood.

Last night, I re-found hope.

02
Nov
08

Fraternal Instincts

Last night, I went to the bar to see my gentleman friend’s show. I got there a little early. I had a smoke, then I went to sit down at the bar.

A guy across the bar is looking at me. Ah yes- I forgot that many people use bars for meeting others (the only time I go to bars is to support shows, or karaoke). And I am looking extra pretty for my guy tonight… but currently alone, looking around the room. Well, there will either be a scene or it won’t, but either way, it will pass the time.

Not 5 minutes after I sit at the bar and get my cherry coke, the guy across the way walks over. I will call him Fraternal, because he looks like the type of person who was a frat boy, not out of peer pressure, but because his personality simply couldn’t be more at home anywhere else. And when I say looks like… he doesn’t have a football player build. kinda scrawnier, but with the gobs of charm and playful guy-ness that tends to get the girls and dominate the guys.

But I was a sorority girl. I can repeat the greek alphabet faster than most boys can chug a beer. I’ve done the dance, and am weary of it. And boy, for as much charm as you have, you are still trying to pick up chicks at a bar… I think I’ll skip the drunken rape/sex tonight, thanks.

(the following may not be word for word accurate, but it is pretty close)
Fraternal: May I sit here?
Me: Sure
Fraternal: You looked lonely. You’re too beautiful to be alone.
Me: I’m waiting for the show.
Fraternal: You waiting for the show or the band leader? Are you a groupie?
Me: (laughs) Groupie. I like that. Yes, I am a groupie. Only, it’s not a band- it’s comedy. you should come see it.
Fraternal: That’s not really my thing. I don’t get into jokes.
Me: But you must know jokes. Tell me a joke.
Fraternal: Nope, I can’t do it. I get it all messed up. A guy went to a bar, and then he did something.
Me: All you need is a punch line.
Fraternal: Really, I just wanted to get to know you. How do I do that?
Me: I’m a very open person. You can ask me anything.
Fraternal: How old are you?
Me: 29.

-I interrupt this intellectually engaging narrative to cut out the more boring parts. He works at the U as a part of the AHC network, I smell nice, and he spends a lot of time trying to convince me that he is a better human being than my gentleman friend. He is actually a very pleasant person to talk to, except for the part where he discredits my intelligence by repeatedly insisting that he’s a better catch than the one I’m waiting for.-

Fraternal: (attempts to put his arm around me)
Me: (grabs by the wrist and places between us) This belongs over here.
Fraternal: (twisting to grab my hand) I didn’t mean..
Me: (grabbing my soda with both hands) I know. And I am letting you know that your hands belong over there.
Fraternal: Seriously. What does this guy have that I don’t have?
Me: Well, he can tell a joke.

We probably chatted for about 7-10 minutes total before my guy found me there. He assessed the situation fairly nicely, put himself between Fraternal and myself without excluding him (there’s asserting, and then there’s just rude), and kissed me. Then I introduced him to my new friend.

And there was my pre-show entertainment.

31
Oct
08

Leaning Against a Post.

Copied this story from a friend’s blog. I do not have a political party. I am fairly centralist with slight liberal leanings. I believe that a government is there for both economic and societal needs, and that balance is the way to achieve the greatest possible of countries. I feel you should always know where a person stands politically before they start ranting about politics. I learned this from a fairly conservative Republican economist.

A Day in the Life of Joe Republican.

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because a liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because a liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance – now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because a liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because a liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because a liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because a liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because a liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune. Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because a liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because a liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because a liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because a liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to. Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.

When I read this story, I was reminded of a story of my own. Several years ago, I was on welfare. I found some loopholes in the very repressive welfare system and managed to sneak into college (this is maybe a rant for another time). It was a tiny ass private tech college, where I was promised a 2 year AAS degree in 16 months. Sounded like the place for me… get in, get out, get off of welfare.

My classmates were all younger than me but about 4-5 years, and they were almost all white boys going to a private school. I was definitely the oddball… female, single mom, poor. And I got teased and looked down on a lot for this. Especially the poor thing. There were a couple of guys that were good to me. some that had no opinion. but several vocal ones that were not pleased with my presence there.

There was one kid that really took offence at my “free ride.” Not true- I am still paying back student loans, although I did get some scholarships and my government stipened for feeding and clothing my child. The stipened was maybe $600 a month… a third of that only good for food (I may not have been able to afford rent AND electricity with my $400 cash, but we could have steak every other night. Hope you like yours done extra rare).

So this kid would basically verbally attack me. pretty much daily. It didn’t matter what I said to him- he was set in that I was taking money out of his pocket. Even though he only had a part time job and wasn’t paying his own way through college. His parents paid his way.

I asked him one day what he would do if he had to pay his own way, and he said to me “well, I’d probably sell off my second car.” you know. Cause every 18 year old has a second car. That their parents bought them.

The point is, this kid had no concept of what it was like to live without, because he had always had. and because he always had, he didn’t need to think about where it came from. He didn’t respect it, didn’t value that which he had, because he simply didn’t comprehend what it was like to not have it. To have to get it all on his own. He thought he WAS doing it all on his own, more or less. And I won’t even say he didn’t work hard to get good grades. He did. he was smart. But he just didn’t KNOW that there was more to earning your way through college beyond getting good grades so that your parents will keep paying your tuition for you.

“There’s no one more thankful to sit at the table
Than the one who best remembers hunger’s pain
And no heart loves greater than the one that is able
To recall the time when all it knew was the shame”

–Remember Your Chains by Steven Curtis Chapman


(y
es, I know. It’s one of my damn Jesus songs. The lyrics make my point though. It’s simply easier to understand the value of something when it isn’t handed to you. It’s easier to appreciate what others do for you when you have a lack of others helping you to compare it to.)

We so often forget to remember that people have fought for rights from all angles of the political agenda. That we have weekends because people who didn’t have them saw the need for them and DID things to gain that right. That we have child labor laws to protect our childhoods because there was at one time 10 year olds working harder than most adult Americans today.

We have the right to vote because of the revolution, the civil war, women’s activism. We have the right to vote because people DIED for the belief that we should have the right to vote. WE have the right to vote because there are other people who did not.

I don’t care your political leaning. I don’t care if you prefer a more economic or social government. I don’t care if you are liberal or conservative. I don’t care if you cheer for an old war vet or a young go-getter. I don’t care if you are a fetus killer or an anti-choice nut job.

hell, I don’t even really care if you vote or not this coming Tuesday. in fact, if you’re not informed about the candidates, do me a favor and read up before heading out, or stay home. (if you do want to read up, here is a relatively non-partisan website that will give you a decent amount of information to make a fairly educated choice. It will also tell you where to register and/or vote. It’s a one stop shop for voting information).

But I do want you to appreciate that you have the ability to vote. Because there have been, and still are, people who can’t.




Twitterdee

 

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