Hunt or Harvest?

Before we got all sophisiticated and domesticated, the human race was a people of hunting and gathering. Searching for their desires… mostly food. They would use their abilities to find the tasiest and most nutritious. It’s a survival thing.

I am in the process of moving. Because of this, I have dropped pretty much every performance/comedy related thing in my life for the next couple weeks. Not the Renaissance Festival, because there is NO other place I can tell the jokes I do and get the kind of response I get…

Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they swim in SCHOOLS all day.

No other audience is going to find that funny. The Ren Faire audience goes to that venue expecting to find the entertainment they’re seeking. They know that in the land of surreal, anything can happen, and that this is the place to hunt for stupid, wacky humor and entertainment.

So, instead of doing auditions, tonight I searched for boxes with my brother. We went to Kinko’s, where I had been promised that a veritable harvest of boxes would await me. But the harvest had already been collected an hour previous. We went to another Kinko’s, where boxes were out of season. I was handed one box. I’m sorry, but my library is not going to fit into one box, no matter how many games of tetris I’ve mastered. I was told they had boxes for sale, but that didn’t really fit my budget. Besides, where’s the sport in that?

I decided to go grocery shopping. Just a couple things so I could feed any helpers I get over the next couple days. At the check out line, I asked the cashier if they had any boxes. The cashier got really excited about banana boxes. He swears by them. They are the sturdiest boxes ever.

Banana boxes have giant holes in the bottom. I don’t care how sturdy they are. If they can’t actually hold anything, they’re not going to do me any good. Just put cardboard in the bottom… What’s the point of a box that I have to finish building? If I want one of those, I’ll go to Ikea.

The security officer on duty (cause I shop at the classy places) then told me that at the end of the strip mall, there was a Family Dollar store (really classy), and behind it, a dumpster full of boxes just ripe for the taking.

Taking things from a dumpster is a misdemeanor. It violates privacy and other such things. But is it really stealing if the guy who is hired to protect the property tells you to take it?

My brother and I went to the dumpster. The boxes were perfect. It’s possible my brother made spy movie sneaking music when we were getting the boxes. He may have ducked down a lot and flattened himself against the car, shifting his focus to and fro. It’s possible we were breaking the law. He grabbed a couple boxes full of boxes, and we were off, the hunt victorious and the harvest plentiful.

Over the weekend, I will again be at the Renaissance Festival, to tell stupid jokes and entertain the masses. There is a field of audience out there just ripe for the picking. And they want to be picked.

Tags: hunting, gathering, MN+Renaissance+Festival, Ren+Faire, humor, comedy, boxes, dumpster+diving, brother, harvest, fish, moving, jokes, food, Kinko’s, security+officer

All the World’s a Stage I’m Going Though (~B.M.)

The past couple weeks was full of performance stuff… and the next couple of months will be, too!

Monday Night Comedy Show– Last week, we did a roast for the host. I was a roaster. I had so much more material, but I wasn’t feeling well. Still, I got to put down some of my favorite people, and I was even funny! I know, right? Remember, Every Monday at 8pm at the Beat Coffeehouse, there is a variety of comedy.. stand up, improv, sketch, film, music… it is never the same show twice!

Improv– Okay, so I haven’t actually performed any recently. But classes are going really well, and I do have a performance coming up. Tuesday, July 29^th, at 7:30 pm at Brave New Workshop, my class will be performing on the same stage as other, more experienced graduates of the BNI classes at Six Ring Circus. Improv for a dollar? How can you beat that? Oh wait– did I mention that they also sell beverages that you can take into the theater with you? Now I dare you to do better. NOTE: Six Ring Circus happens Every Tuesday at 7:30pm, but not this coming Tuesday, as the workshop is getting ready for their next Mainsatge show.

Stand up Comedy– I did some at the Monday Night Comedy Show a while ago. I did some last Wednesday. Every Wednesday at 10pm at the Downtown Grumpy’s, there is a stand up show called DEATH COMEDY JAM. It’s hosted by The Grin Reaper, and there are all sorts of Stand ups. Sometimes there could be me. But I’m not telling when… you’ll just have to go see for yourself. Why not? It’s FREE!

Vilification Tennis– We performed at a Sci-Fi Convention over the 4^th of July weekend, because we are all geeks. I was amazing. And by that, I mean I did not throw up even though I was -not feeling well– at all. BTW: To the fan that told me he thought “A” cup was a nice size– 1) I WASN’T actually insecure about my breast size until you said something, and 2) I’m a “B” cup, damnit!!! And yes, we have a show this month. Saturday, July 26^th, at 10 pm at Bryant Lake Bowl we will be doing the Olympic Show. It will be awesome. I make no guarantees that I will be there, but I’m also not saying that I’ll be missing from the show, either. Ooooh, how mysterious. But I promise you do NOT want to miss this show. Get tickets here: http://blb.ciceron.com/calendar.asp?date=7/26/2008.. $12, or $10 with Fringe button.

Fringe Festival– Speaking of, I am in a Fringe show this year. It’s frigging awesome. It’s all scripted and stuff, so I’m a little out of my element, but damn! It’s called Shakespeare’s Land of the Dead, A True and Accurate Account of the 1599 Zombie Plague. No shit. Zombies try to take over the Globe theater in 1599. How the hell can you miss THAT?!? Did I mention it’s being put on by Walking Shadow Theater Company (http://www.walkingshadowcompany.org/)? Not to spoil it, but I play a man. Awe yeah. MANLY! That’s me. And what could be manlier than a thrust stage? We’re taking over the U of M Rarig Center Thrust on these dates:

Sat., Aug. 2 @ 1:00 p.m
Sun., Aug. 3 @ 5:30 p.m
Tue., Aug. 5 @ 10:00 p.m
Wed., Aug. 6 @ 7:00 p.m
Sun., Aug. 10 @ 7:00 p.m

When I said thrust, I meant like with a sword, all manly like. What were you thinking? For more information and tickets, go to http://www.fringefestival.org/2008/show/?id=910. Make sure to put us on your Fringe schedule so that all the kids know where the cool kids will be (that’s right, I called you cool).

MN Renaissance Festival– Yes, I will once again be out at The RenFest, but I’m not sure in what capacity or which weekends. I know I will be doing Vilification Tennis out there, and I should be out there almost all weekends, but I may have to miss Labor Day weekend to move. The hell, you say? Yes, having a roof over my head does in fact precedence over my Faire performance. Barely. I may also have a conflict towards the end of September, but it’s very uncertain right now, so I will say not more. MN Renaissance Festival in Shakopee runs weekends and Labor Day from August 16^th to September 28^th, 9am to 7pm. For more information, go to http://www.renaissancefest.com/MRF/

And now I’m spent. For those of you who say you never have the opportunity to see me perform, I dare you to tell me you’re busy every single one of those nights. I mean, I am, but that’s no excuse for you. Hope some of you can make it out to some of these things. I like friendly faces.

Tags: Fringe, Renaissance, Shakespeare, Improv, stand+up, Comedy, theater, thrust, sword, Olympic, sick, Monday+Night+Comedy+Show, Six+Ring+Circus, DEATH+COMEDY+JAM, Brave+New+Workshop, Grumpy’s, Bryant+Lake+Bowl, Walking+Shadow, Ren+Fest, Renaissance+Festival

TCIF Day 1 and 2

It’s all a blur, so I’m combining them in one post. I have an Ultrapass, which means I see a lot of shows. I have seen them all so far. That probably says something about me. Quick notes:

-My Improv instructor sang his death.
-I need to change my last name to something that starts with a B. And include the sound “ill” somewhere in there. Joe Bill and Jill Bernard did a SCRAM, and it was quite possibly the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen.
-”Come, hawk.”
-Butch does a lovely Lauren impression.
-Girls, Girls, Girls was amazing. They were all choreographed, but not preplanned. It was like they shared a brain. It was hot.
-People love Rampleseed. How could you not?
-Pimprov was brilliant. It just was.
-Be careful when you’re a woman talking about all of your eggs in a basket. Or better yet, don’t.
-I could have been vice president. I am also “A. Woman.”
-Improv games in the street with visitors.
-Smokes make friends.

there was so much more, you guys. too much for my tiny little brain to process. I took a million pictures, but on my crappy camera phone… well, they didn’t all suck. Here are a few:

Twin Cities Improv Festival

It’s only a few short days away.

Read this article from the Southwest Journal: http://www.swjournal.com/index.php?&story=11763&page=152&category=64

Come on… It’s got a picture of Mike Fotis, who, according to my poll, is hotter than Butch Roy. But only a little.

“The second annual Twin Cities Improv Festival is June 26–29 at Brave New Workshop, 2605 Hennepin Ave. S. Tickets for individual shows are $10. To purchase tickets or festival passes, or to sign up for improv workshops, visit the festival website, www.twincitiesimprovfestival.com.

Tickets also are sold at the Brave New Workshop box office. www.bravenewworkshop.org. 332-6620.”

Rumor has it there are still spots open in the beginning improv class. If you haven’t done it before, and want some of the best instruction out there from one of the top improvisers alive, you will go sign up NOW.

Do it, or I will give you the disappointed mommy look. I don’t want to hear how scary it is. Suck it up, pansy. You will thank me later.

I originally got the 6 show pass… I’m working on that fiscally responsible thing (I just now realized that there is an improv team named fiscally responsible- I can’t get away from improv). Really, 6 shows is not enough. There are just too many awesome teams to be seen. I’m trying to figure out how to upgrade…

What? I’m not an addict. I’m a student. This is all to further my education. Really.

Strength and Sexism

Sometimes, I think I do it to defy social standards of what is feminine and what is masculine. I keep ending up doing things that are much more boy’s club than lady like.

I play video games (becoming less boy-related, but still has the masculine feel to it). I like super heroes. I have worked as a security officer. I work in the tech industry with my tech degree, surrounded by a sea of testosterone.

I do comedic performance.

It’s not quite as prevalent in improv as it used to be, but it’s still there. I would say 4 out of 5 well-known improv artists are men. In stand up, the numbers are more like 9 out of 10. It’s an incredibly male-dominated industry, this comedy thing.

Because men are funny. Women are pretty. Men hunt. Women gather. Men do couragous things. Women do skillful things.

I had a talk with an amazing female performer of the comedic variety. Someone I admire and respect. We are not close, but we are supportive. When I told her about stand up, she gave me a hug and said that I was braver than her. I told her that was bull. Somehow, we agreed that we both have giant balls.

Set aside the inherant sexism in saying that a brave person has balls.Women in male dominated scenes (pun intended) have to be strong. Maybe stronger. It’s a breaking of stereotypes, and that takes a lot of of hard work, talent, and courage to go up against that.

Just looking around, there are a lot of single women in male-dominated areas (author’s note– this is not a proven; no science is backing this staement beyond the author’s experience). I think a part of it is that is due to the women… If you have to be that strong, regardless of sex, you are going to need someone to match you in strength. But I also think a part of it is because of the preset conceptions of what it takes to be a woman in a man’s field.

I mean, what straight man wants to date someone with balls?

Tags: sexism, women, men, balls, comedy, courage, strength, male-dominated, feminine, masculine